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Friday, September 26, 2014

Of Dicks And The Protrusions From A Horse's Ass

The story is told of a country preacher who was well known for speaking in very ostentatious terms. Never mind the fact that his congregants were for the most part simple country folk, most of whom were more accustomed to the forthright and culturally recognizable thoughts and expressions of their everyday lives rather than the imposed circumlocutions of “learned” men.
One Sunday, after embarking on a rather drawn out sermon, the preacher mercifully indicated the coming end of his protracted embellishment of a not so well known text with the phrase “And so, in conclusion…”; after which he proceeded to speak for another twenty or so minutes. Wearied by the length and verbosity of the sermon, the congregation let out a collective and impatient “Amen!” on what they all knew had to be his final words.
Approaching the preacher afterwards, an elderly woman remarked to him about her lack of comprehension of his use of the term “conclusion”. “What” she asked, “did you mean by that word given the fact that you just kept going on and on after saying it. Not grasping the obvious exasperation of this congregant, the man started to explain the meaning of the word in terms he thought the old woman might understand. “Well”, he said, “conclusion means the tail end…” at which the old lady just shook her head, smiled, and walked away.
Not too long afterwards as the congregation dispersed, the preacher mounted his horse to depart for home. Indulging a sense of being mischievous upon noticing what could be called a rather remarkable protrusion from the rear of the parson’s horse, the old lady declared quite loudly: “Preacher! Preacher!… there is something protruding from your horse’s conclusion.” At which the whole crowd burst out laughing. “Well said sister!”, came an anonymous endorsement from the crowd.
Brings to mind the meaningless dribble of so many of our public figures who can't recognize the fact that their time has past. In the absence of their being held to account for their...indiscretions, they continue to wear us out with the circumlocutions that they believe will serve their still nefarious ends. 

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