I... The River

I have become the River…

Unlike the Nile…or Thames…or Rio Grande
I need no specific place or time
I have no boundaries…no beginning or end
I claim no place…no one
And I can be claimed by none…

I have become the River…
Untamed by mountains…or rocks…or
Other hardened places…
I find my way eventually
To the source of all rivers…unstoppable
I toil without tiring

I have become the River
Drawing to myself the many tributaries
Which are my sources…
I am full with the many waters
Of this great Eternity…
I flow forever in you…over you…beyond you…

From: Roy Alexander Graham's... “Of Scattered Seed and Broken Souls.”

Silence

"Go placidly amidst the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence".
~Desiderata

Our anxious world becomes quite noisy at times. Noise from everywhere, and all the time. Noises that resound with the boisterous demands of a culture that celebrates loudness as if it were an essential element of living.

Beside the many voices and vices in our heads and hearts that seek to live out their many intentions through our actions, there are yet the multitude of actors in the real environment of our daily lives seeking to occupy us with the pointed projections of their volatile interior states.

The blaring microphones and flashing lights that serve the existential volatility of those who would fill us with their froth are a source of disquiet that is potentially maddening. Potentially... because we are not bound to succumb to the cacophonous chorus coming forth from those who would impose a destructive imbalance on our world by way of their over-indulgent egos.

We can silence the noises in our own heads, and we can neutralize the boisterousness in the world around us. A prayer. A cleansing breath. A poem. A moment of love-embracing reflection. The realization of fear-denying clarity. A walk in the  woods. A cleansing scream. Embracing the naked truth about our personal aspirations, the fears we harbor, and our disheartening frustrations. Maybe something I haven't said that works for you...

First we must come to terms with the noises in ourselves. Our help? Truth spoken with a daring lack of abrasiveness... Not shouted, just admitted... finally. That truth will vary from one person to the next. Obviously. Each of us must admit it... and speak it... and begin the process of quelling the disquiet that is the source of our disequilibrium.

The noises that pollute our lives are an orchestra of our own persistent dysfunctions on a personal level, and they are symptomatic of a world suffering from an overflow of vanities piled on top of vanities, each seeking supremacy over the other. We eventually become worn out by the superficial nonsense all around us. On radio and television. In print media and movies. In contrived "reality shows". And from one "talking head" to the other.

It is up to each one of us to find the wherewithal to navigate and survive the stream of unconsciousness threatening to sweep us all into a state of obliviousness. We must seek and find that place of balance in our lives that needs no drumbeat. Toward that end, humility helps. We must empty ourselves of our own froth. That froth is the bubbling nonsense in and around us that has no future, because there is no substance therein.

 Let us heed what is at once an invitation and an instruction... "Go placidly amidst the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence".  "Silence" is a state of being. Silence is a place in which we can become the persons we long to be. It is a refuge, and way of journeying; a place in which to retreat, and a way of retreating. Silence is an ocean at its deepest depth. Silence is the mountain at its highest peak. Silence is a life lived above and beyond the undulations of our ingrained insecurities. It is that notion beyond words that comes to embrace us in the stillness of a moment of truth. Silence comes to us as a place of clarity. 

... . The popping bubbles you hear is a quality of the dissipating froth all around you. Those clarifying notions echoing between our ears are indicators of the changing pressure in the atmosphere of our lives. And finally... the sound of silence. It is as beautiful and as uplifting as a treasure found. Silence reveals itself as a thing of tremendous value and  great splendor. Gather it to yourself... Embrace it, and live into its wonderful graces. Take the serenity it brings to you, with you ...everywhere you go.

Scream

Hell hath no fury like this
And death no dread
Like this dark place to which I sink
And from which
I announce my despair…and give birth
To this unholy thing
That I have borne
And of which I
Am now involuntarily delivered…

A person scorned
Must never know
This gut-wrenching…soul emptying
Unending…light-forbidding tunnel
Into which I have fallen…and
Am falling endlessly…
This black hole that drains…and keeps draining
My heart of its courage

I have hurt… but no more…
The hope of my pain has dissipated
Leaving me numb…and stiff
With the despair of my uncertainty

I am lost
In the gateless penitentiary
Of my lack of grasp
Of time…and space…and feeling
I would cry much louder
Except
I can’t hear myself


From: Roy Alexander Graham's: “Of Scattered Seed and Broken Souls.” 

... And Forgive Us Our Trespasses...

In the course of our lives many of us are led to think about how we can renew ourselves? How do we leave the negative aspects of our past behind us and move to a more improved version of ourselves? Well, we can renew ourselves by renewing our relationships. The renewal of our relationships happen when we engage in the process of forgiving and being forgiven. This is a most fundamental requirement of any process of personal growth. It is a cornerstone of true liberation; one that comes from an acknowledgement of the truth that we are nowhere near being perfect, and neither are the other folks in, or who have been in our lives. We are flawed, and so are they. The barriers to moving forward are inherent in this fact. Yes, this is the self-evident truth of our existence. And it must be dealt with before anything else. Our barriers become stumbling blocks when we attempt to deny that they are there.

We have all heard that confession is good for the soul, it is a cornerstone of our viability as whole persons. Any attempt to build our lives without it will fail. The stumbling blocks that once characterized our interactions however, can become stepping-stones. This becomes possible when we cultivate the wisdom and the courage that are necessary to liberate us from the bad experiences that prevent us from moving forward. As our elders have told told us; speak the truth…call the devil a liar. Release yourself from the overwhelming coercion of not daring to live with the authenticity that being willing to confess your faults brings to your life.

When we are able to speak the truth without malice, we will experience liberation. Truth that is told with healing intent acts as a tonic, as an elixir, and as an antidote. It makes us stronger. It restores our joy. Ultimately, it is the remedy we need for what ails us. Our redemption, our wholeness as human beings, hinges on the necessary work of forgiveness. Our restoration to a state of good spiritual, emotional, and physical health as individuals, as communities, and as a nation is dependent on our ability and willingness to engage in the genuine acts of forgiveness.

To paraphrase a well- known piece of wisdom from Nelson Mandela; to harbor resentment against others is like drinking a poison and hoping it will kill our enemies. Think about that for a moment. It is well said, by whomever had the wisdom to realize it... Forgiveness is not something we do for other people. We do it for ourselves so that we can get better and move on.