THE NOISES IN MY HEAD … A Rap Rhapsody

 

IF YA WANNA BE A GANGSTA

GO BE A GANGSTA

IF YA WANNA BE A PRANKSTA

GO TAKE YO CHANCES

BUT IF YA WANNA BE BOTH

YOU WILL BE WRONG SAH…

   IF YA WANNA BE A GANGSTA

   I SAID GO BE A GANGSTA

   BUT  YOU CAN'T RIDE BOTH SIDES

   IN THE RACE THAT IS LIFE

   CAUSE IF YOU TRY THAT 

   YOU WILL BE WRONG SAH

Yeah..ah...Yeah...

Who is that banging on my door? 

God damn it ... Stop ringing my bell...

It's early morning ...at a quarter to four

Whoever it is ...you disturbing my sleep

I ain't getting up ...cause I went to bed late

So find your way back ...out through the gate

Whoever you are ...making that noise

Please do me a favor ...and just go away

Stop, please stop ...disturbing my sleep

Leave me alone ...before I send you to... hell!!

IF YA WANNA BE A GANGSTA

GO BE A GANGSTA 

IF YA WANNA BE A PRANKSTA

GO TAKE YO CHANCES

BUT IF YA WANNA BE BOTH

YOU WILL BE WRONG SAH…

   IF YA WANNA BE A GANGSTA

   I SAID GO BE A GANGSTA 

   BUT YOU CAN'T RIDE BOTH SIDES 

   IN THE RACE THAT IS LIFE

   CAUSE IF YOU TRY THAT

   YOU WILL BE WRONG SAH

Yeah..ah...Yeah...

Spent all day hanging out with the crew

Chasing ideas about the things we must do

To make the life we know better for us

No hang-ups about ...dreams and status

Some people say that life is what you make it

They don't know ’bout those who ain't got nothin to work with

We have no time for non-essential pipe-dreaming

We ...the outcasts of society's lies and its scheming

And now all we know is we must find a way

Our way out is just a game we must play

IF YA WANNA BE A GANGSTA 

GO BE A GANGSTA 

IF YA WANNA BE A PRANKSTA 

GO TAKE YO CHANCES

BUT IF YA WANNA BE BOTH

YOU WILL BE WRONG SAH…

   IF YA WANNA BE A GANGSTA 

   I SAID GO BE A GANGSTA 

   BUT YOU CAN’T RIDE BOTH SIDES 

   IN THE RACE THAT IS LIFE

   CAUSE IF YOU TRY THAT

   YOU WILL BE WRONG SAH

Yeah..ah...Yeah...

They keep telling us we must obey the rules

In a game fixed against us...? / What/ do they think that we are fools?

New day, new games ...we make up the rules as we go

Our own refs will determine the flow...

Gotta have balls bigger than your opponents

Gotta have bats that are wider with more length

And when the game starts there'll be no singing of anthems

These rhythms and lyrics don't fit with nice sentiments

The old game was rigged to make sure that we lost

And now we must find ways to make sure we kicking ass

IF YA WANNA BE A GANGSTA 

GO BE A GANGSTA 

IF YA WANNA BE A PRANKSTA 

GO TAKE YO CHANCES

BUT IF YA WANNA BE BOTH

YOU WILL BE WRONG SAH…

   IF YA WANNA BE A GANGSTA 

   I SAID GO BE A GANGSTA 

   BUT YOU CAN'T RIDE BOTH SIDES 

   IN THE RACE THAT IS LIFE

   CAUSE IF YOU TRY THAT

   YOU WILL BE WRONG SAH

Yeah..ah...Yeah...

When I wake up today, I will head to the hills

I’ve got bush I must chop down, and holes I must fill

No time to stand around ...wondering what next to do

No time for those stuck on indulging the Blues

I gets my hands dirty turning up the Underground

I keeps it simple 'cause there’s nothing so profound

About doing what you must to care for your own

About rocking a system that treats us like clowns... 

And so I beg you …

Stop knocking on my door, stop ringing my bell

I'm getting my rest-up, before I go raise me some hell!

IF YA WANNA BE A GANGSTA 

GO BE A GANGSTA 

IF YA WANNA BE A PRANKSTA 

GO TAKE YO CHANCES

BUT IF YA WANNA BE BOTH

YOU WILL BE WRONG SAH…

   IF YA WANNA BE A GANGSTA 

   I SAID GO BE A GANGSTA 

   BUT YOU CAN'T RIDE BOTH SIDES 

   IN THE RACE THAT IS LIFE

   CAUSE IF YOU TRY THAT

   YOU WILL BE WRONG SAH

Yeah..ah...Yeah...

… … … … 

It was quiet for awhile

Except for the noises in my head

Reverberations of a life spoiled

Inspiring thoughts of depression and dread

And so I turned off the lights

And retired to bed...but now

… … … … 

Someones -a -banging on my door 

Somebody- is -a ringing ma bell

It's early morning ...at a quarter to four

Whoever it is ...you disturbing my sleep

I ain't getting up ...cause I went to bed late

So find your way back ...out through the gate

Whoever you are ...makin dat noise

Please do me a favor ...and just go away

Stop, please stop ...disturbing my sleep

Leave me alone ...before I send you to ...Hell!!

IF YA WANNA BE A GANGSTA 

GO BE A GANGSTA 

IF YA WANNA BE A PRANKSTA 

GO TAKE YO CHANCES

BUT IF YA WANNA BE BOTH

YOU WILL BE WRONG SAH…

   IF YA WANNA BE A GANGSTA 

  I SAID GO BE A GANGSTA 

 BUT YOU CAN'T RIDE BOTH SIDES 

IN THE RACE THAT IS LIFE

CAUSE IF YOU TRY THAT

YOU WILL BE WRONG SAH

Yeah..ah...Yeah

Yeah...ah... yeah

LET US BE LIKE LILIES IN SPRING

Image created with ChatGPT

Deep in us there is a bulb that longs for the end of the season of dormancy. That bulb contains, and is the symbol of all our potential.  It is the promise of everything we might be. We can  reasonably characterize it as the essential life force in us, waiting for the right time to lend itself again to our regeneration. That bulb longs for the right conditions to arrive so that it may burst forth and become the dynamic presence that will make a difference in the circumstances in and around which it has been buried.

In its dormant state that bulb embodies our dreams. It is the symbol of our longing for a season, for that time, when it can become the thing that it is… essentially. It dreams of rising up from the underground of its slumber, and declaring its presence in the world. It soaks up the nourishment of the Earth. It wants to bask in the warmth and luster of the Sun. It desires to drink of the Rain’s abundance to its satisfaction. It waits, patiently, to demonstrate the benefits it has accrued from the ground which is its womb, and to which it knows it must eventually return. It wants to replicate itself, so that the earth will be a witness to its innate fecundity.

During the seasons of its dormancy it may have been cared for… or not. It may have been covered with weeds that some see as hiding and suffocating its existence; but which it knows as having served their purpose nonetheless. It may have been trampled underfoot by the careless and/or the unknowing among us. It has had to endure the obscurity that things unnoticed must. It may have even succumbed to its own existential exhaustion, not giving up - but recognizing the need to just rest. 

In an effort to make sense of all its experiences while in a state of apparent non-proliferation; it found itself agreeing with and embracing that oft repeated chorus of wisdom from  Ecclesiastes 3:1-8. The contemplative moment to which we are called in this passage fosters the cultivation of balance in our interpretation of the yin and yang inherent in the events that demand our physical, emotional, and spiritual energies in the course of our lives. That balance is essential to our growth and development as wise souls. It is what informs the difference between those who endure and those who fall apart when confronted by the dynamic oppositeness that is ever present in our experience as beings in time and space.

“To every thing there is a season,
and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to get, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
A time to rend, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate;
A time of war, and a time of peace”.  

A time to be… and a time to be dormant. 

This wise ecclesiast impresses on us the functional significance of being mindful of the times of our lives. We should pay attention, lest we become exhausted by our own lack of perspective, and miss the opportunities to become what we long to be… even that which we essentially are. 

And so when we have given our all and find ourselves empty… When we have been trodden underfoot and otherwise stepped upon… When we have been dissed, and thoroughly discouraged… When the weeds and thorns all around us have subjected us to their constant assault and left us to tend to the wounds of an abrasively unforgiving culture… When we come to the end of our tethers, having been roped in and become exhausted by the struggles with our vanity and our lack of discretion… . Let us, even then, remember that these seasons too - will come to an end.

Like lilies in Spring we discover the essential us as a bulb waiting for its season to burst forth; casting off the redundant obscurity of a season of dormancy, so that we may become all that we are… again. We find ourselves now looking forward with a profound longing in our spiritual selves to making our presence known and felt in a world gone bleak through our falls, and our follies, and the persistent grayness of the winters of our discontent. 

Well... it is Spring again! It is the season of rising up and breaking through! It is that time when we must cast off the ignominy of lives gone dormant for reasons that are too many to list, and too uncomfortable to regurgitate. 

Let us declare a resounding “No!” to the naysayers. Let us issue a timely rebuke to those who would insist on being uncaring, or ignorant, or oppressive, or any combination of these iniquitous ways of being and behaving. Let us rise above our own sense of being unworthy, and assume with all our energies the task of redefining ourselves in terms of our ability to become more than we have been.

Like lilies we all share a certain vulnerability. But, as we are reminded by the preacher, it is ok to bloom even for just one season, if that is all we can muster the energy to accomplish in the course of our lives. That being so, let us not allow our finiteness to prevent us from rising up and sharing our essentialness with those around us in the world in which we find ourselves. Indeed, let us live into our existential duty to help lift the spirits of those who await our coming again.

… . And, let us do this with the timely offering of something so exquisitely beautiful, so exhilaratingly awakening, and so life-inspiring, that the world can’t help but notice… and be revitalized. 

BLACK… MYSTORY - “OUT OF THE HUTS OF HISTORY’S SHAME”

 

A few years ago I sat with my wife in an audience at Georgia State University in Atlanta, Georgia, as the late Congressman John Lewis gave the Convocation Address to the thousands of incoming students and their families and friends gathered there to mark the start of their careers as college students. The Congressman is a great example of someone who refused to live in the mold prescribed by the prevailing socio-historical circumstances into which he was born. He had to overcome much in his own experience…  And he did. 

The following is an excerpt from the biography published on his website:

“He was born the son of sharecroppers on February 21, 1940, outside of Troy, Alabama.  He grew up on his family’s farm and attended segregated public schools in Pike County, Alabama.  As a young boy, he was inspired by the activism surrounding the Montgomery Bus Boycott and the words of the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr., which he heard on radio broadcasts.  In those pivotal moments, he made a decision to become a part of the Civil Rights Movement. Ever since then, he has remained at the vanguard of progressive social movements and the human rights struggle in the United States.

As a student at Fisk University, John Lewis organized sit-in demonstrations at segregated lunch counters in Nashville, Tennessee.  In 1961, he volunteered to participate in the Freedom Rides, which challenged segregation at interstate bus terminals across the South. Lewis risked his life on those Rides many times by simply sitting in seats reserved for white patrons.  He was also beaten severely by angry mobs and arrested by police for challenging the injustice of Jim Crow segregation in the South.”

I listened, overwhelmed by a substantial empathy, and I observed the rapt attention being paid to this man by an audience currently reflective of the American demographic landscape. His resounding message: “Never give up! Never give in!” 

And as I sat there in that audience listening to Congressman Lewis, the words of Dr Maya Angelou came to mind :

“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.”

Dr. Maya Angelou… A woman who “phenomenally” refused to be defined by adverse circumstances, the scars of which she carried in her own being. Even now she “rises” … and she lifts us with her to new heights of consciousness and being! I hear her wonderfully commanding and beautifully distinct voice in my head constantly. She speaks with a powerful eloquence that stirs in us a mixture of memory and emotion that cannot be ignored.

 

“Out of the huts of history’s shame … I rise!

Up from a past that’s rooted in pain … I rise!

I’m a black ocean, leaping and wide,

Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.

Leaving behind nights of terror and fear … I rise!

Into a daybreak that’s wondrously clear … I rise!

Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,

I am the dream and the hope of the slave.

I rise! I rise! I rise!”

 

Leaving behind days and nights and months and years and decades and centuries of terror and fear … we rise.  There is a life-proliferating quality to the work of Dr. Maya Angelou. Her literary offerings and the emotions they elicit plant themselves in our consciousness almost effortlessly, and they thrive there as if they have always been there… though at times unnoticed. 

In an act of cultural and spiritual intimacy Maya Angelou draws us to a most sacred place on our life-journey; and in this place we experience a mating of ideas and ideals that leave us pregnant with the expectation of something greater for ourselves and the other selves connected to us. Her creative genius reaches deep within us and calls forth the memory of our sacred obligation to “be fruitful and multiply”. Hers is a call echoing from the Eden of our very beginnings. It is a call to new dreams, and new hopes, and a new vitality. She encourages us to revise and refine and redefine who we are and who we would be. In that respect Maya Angelou joins the Martin Luther Kings, the Mandelas, the Marleys, and all the other revolutionary voices in engendering the ongoing work of renewal among us.

Let us listen… And may those words become flesh and live in and through us. We are the dream and the hope of our ancestors.